Sunday

I had a good night just now. A good friend of mine moved into a new house recently; he invited a bunch of us over to eat pizza, drink beer and watch UFC. I don’t watch TV, and I never watch UFC, but tonight I made exceptions, and I enjoyed it. It ended late, I stayed up later, and when I got in I remembered that the clock had rolled over to Sunday.

I realized that I miss church.

I miss knowing that I slept through something I was supposed to be up for. I miss the times when I did wake up, and I sat in those beautifully stained wooden pews shifting quietly as I glanced around at the ceiling, the other people, and the stained glass. I miss the feeling of cleanliness that accompanied the pilgrimage to that sanctuary full of staid and pedestrian congregants. I miss resting my head in the crook of my arm during a long, boring, platitudinous prayer; saying a few words of my own for the first few seconds and basically falling asleep for the rest of it.

It’s 3:47 AM. In the next 10 or 15 minutes, I’ll fall asleep in the middle of an uncharacteristically messy room. In 5 or 6 hours, some people I know will make their way towards some churches I know. I will stay fast asleep, waking in the early afternoon. Anyone who went to church will be heading back home. I will feel some pain and grogginess from oversleep, and I will stare out the window for a minute or two. As I contemplate whether I should clean up my room, work on my project for work, or edit my vacation photos, I will realize that I am less than 12 hours away from having to sleep again, so I can be up for work. I’ll feel pangs of lethargy and loneliness.

For most of the day I won’t feel very good at all.

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2 Responses to “Sunday”

  1. I miss it, too. I’m always up on Sunday morning when lots of people I know are going to lots of churches I know. It is a lonely feeling. I miss all of those things you listed, but most of all I miss being able to believe any of what is taught, preached, or prayed about. I find it more painful to go and not believe than to not go.

  2. I agree.

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