Dear, God

I am in a difficult way. I pray to you as though you are there, for I cannot pray as though you are not. I pray as though you hear me, as a man hears another man speak, for I have not the capacity to imagine anything else.

I am constantly astonished by the universe, and I never presume that I have anything to teach the maker of it, neither that I may have any true objection to the way in which it is ordered, though my emotions are always in turmoil.

I confess my wrongs; first and foremost that I have rarely risen above my circumstances, in any fashion that might be unexpected to a casual observer of my life. I know that within me lies the potential for harder choices, and more selfless things, or else I would not feel them tug at my will each time a decision is made; I ask that whatever fine things constitute my person might be more inclined towards these ends. I ask that I might be forgiven for my many trespasses, and my infinitely greater omissions.

Thank you that I am alive today, and that I was ever alive in the first place.

Give me the resolve to commit each action upon the basis of the precepts formed in my lucid moments; sustain in me the perception that there is a continuity of self over time, such that I may accomplish this even in my  dark, destitute and apathetic nights.

Please make me feel responsible for my actions.

I cannot ask for a great and improbable sign, in order that I might better believe, in order that I might better do. I ask only that I would continue to pursue the truth, and do what I know to be right, for these are things of which I have become utterly convinced. I believe that you have instilled these sureties within me through all that I have witnessed and read, for I now know–certainly, though at times I may doubt every other thing–that if I hold fast to them, no true harm can come to me so long as I live, nor thereafter.



One Response to “Prayer”

  1. Stephanie Says:

    I keep coming back to re-read this because I really love it.

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