Christian Sports

I’m in the Twin Cities right now, on my trek through North America by Greyhound bus. My friend Jeny, who I’m visiting here, had a women’s softball league game today. It turns out it’s a Christian league.

I enjoyed watching the game, and as I sat there, it came to me:

We should have a Christian softball league with teams based on theological differences.

The Calvinists play the Arminians, and in the tiebreaker game the former hits a home run to win–was it predetermined? The five-point Calvinists play the four-point Calvinists. The former win because, well, they had more points. The preterists play the futurists, and with the latter down too far to win, they call a time out… hoping that the end times come before the bottom of the ninth.

The Creationist, Intelligent Design and Theistic Evolutionist teams have a round robin tournament, and the Creationists lose, because when they picked teams at the draft, they didn’t go with their gut instinct (they don’t believe in natural selection). The Legalists play the Progressives, but it’s a co-ed league, and the legalists lose because they never let a runner get to first base.

The Continuationists play the Cessationists, and instead of using force plays, the Continuationists always tag out the Cessationists between bases–they’re eager to practice any sort of laying on of hands.

And of course, in deciding which team you’re on, you have to decide which dichotomy is the most important to you.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Christian Sports”

  1. Hahhahaa. Great post, Steve.

    I hope you’re having fun 🙂 We’re praying for you & your sister on your travels!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: